Big City Dating / Avoiding the “Fuckboy”

Hey babes,

Lets face it, the dating world sucks. It’s full of empty promises, mind games, and a whole bunch of self doubting. Since becoming single for the first time in 4 years this past September, I started to date. I missed the whole dating app thing when it first came on the scene so I never got to play around with them. This turned out to be a blessing and a curse.

Dating in a big city like Toronto is full of possible suiters and trust me, its a whole new ball game compared to trying to date in a small town. But yet, out of all these people Ive had no such luck in finding these nice guys everyone keeps getting. I have met guys through apps like Tinder and Bumble, and I’ve even met some guys while I was at work. The thing I noticed most about guys around here is that they are not afraid to talk to you, but they will also say anything to get in your pants. So ladies and gentlemen beware of all the fuck boys that lurk because most of them are wolves in sheeps clothing.

I know being single for a few months does not quality me as a dating expert by any means. But I now have a way better picture of what I want from a potential relationship.

My first date was with a guy I met off of Tinder. I don’t know how else to explain this other than the word fuckboy. His pants were tighter than mine, his car wreaked of axe, and he insisted on holding my hand across the table throughout dinner. Me being my naive self, he offered to watch an episode of Suites back at my place, needless to say thats not what he actually mean and I kicked him out with blue balls #sorrynotsorry.

After my first experience with Tinder I decided it was not for me and I got into the Bumble scene because I heard it was more for actual dating and not hookups. I had pretty good luck with meeting guys from here, but they all ended the same way; me wanting more and them giving lame excuses to why we should stop seeing each other after they got what they wanted. I wasn’t even official with any of these guys but my self esteem broke down and so I decided these types of guys weren’t worth my time.

Currently I have deleted all dating apps and see no light at the end of the tunnel in the relationship department, but honestly I think its for the best. A friend once told me its very unlikely that I will find my Prince Charming off of Tinder (and if you did I am incredibly envious).

Dating is hard and messy, but it can also be fun and exciting. I am the type of person who loves getting dressed up for dates, being surprised or random phone calls just to see how my day went. I haven’t had the best of luck finding a guy who is up to the challenge. Instead I’ve had guys talk the talk about being different from the rest, but in the end they were all the same. So for now its me and my cat, waiting for Mr. Right. If you find him, tell him tell him he better bring an extra large coffee because I’m falling asleep waiting.

With my short time in the dating world I have experienced my fair share of guys who fucked me and my emotions around. So, I have come up with 5 tips on how to avoid the average fuckboy. As I said before, dating can be fun but if you are deciding to sleep with multiple people (which there is no shame in if thats your choosing, it can be quite fun if you choose to do so) just please stay safe out there!

Tip #1: 

If they only have pictures of their abs on their profiles, if they ask for your snapchat right off the bat, or if they ask you for sexy pics? Stay away (unless all you want is some dick pics to make fun of later with your friends).

Tip #2:

Not texting you for days and then randomly slide into your DMs? Its a game we all play sometimes, but if he’s truly interested he won’t make you wait around.

Tip #3: 

Is he blinding your ears with what you want to hear so you will sleep with him? I am no stranger for falling for sweet words, but if its the first date and he has a box of condoms ready to go, its most likely because thats all he’s interested in, and you are more than your lady parts!

Tip #4: 

If he is asking you to come over to his place to “cuddle” instead of taking you out on a proper first date, I can promise you his intentions are not that PG.

Tip #5: 

If he has no real interest in you and your feelings but then suddenly is all over you? Fuck boys don’t give a fuck about the other person and only pretend to give a damn when its convenient for them.


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